I'm bugged. I feel like I'm in a rut and...actually, don't really want to figure out how to get out...that would take more work. I love my sweet Joel and love my kids (which is why I had to post cute pictures of them), but why is life so not like on tv. Why are things so hard and why do things not work out the way I planned them to. I always wanted to be a mom. Ask anyone I went to high school with, that was my dream. I was going to be an awesome wife who made cookies and took them to my husband's work and I would make great meals and I was going to have 9 boys. We would have our own football team in which I would be the
center because I figured after 9 kids I would be huge. So, let me tell you how that pans out...I'm not an awesome wife and I rarely make cookies and when I do, we eat them (mainly me). Uh, I don't make dinner hardly...we do eat dinner, just things like Mac and Cheese, Pasta Roni, pizza, chicken (the breaded frozen kind that I only have to heat up) and our veggies consist of either corn or broccoli. Awesome huh. Are you all salivating? Let's see 9 boys...not going to happen. I had no idea what a pain it was to be pregnant and then have to get a huge baby out of my body and then recover from that and then raise
it...yeah, there will never be 9...we may not even make it to 3. In my dream world, which I thought was reality, it was awesome to be pregnant and kids were so fun and obedient and I had tons of energy. Seriously what happened? Why when I ask my kids to come get ready for bed, do they flip out? Why does one take toys from the other? How do 4, 3, and even 2 year olds know how to talk back and why do they actually do it? Why is potty training such a nightmare...is this really that hard of a concept...when you pee you just do it in the toilet and not in your pants. Why do people keep telling me it doesn't get better, just new and different problems with each stage...awesome. Why do toddlers get into everything even after you tell them a million times to get out...why is the dishwasher so cool and the toilet water and the remote and the phone and electrical outlets...I admit, I am totally anal. I make things harder for myself because I want things a certain way...I want a clean and tidy house and I don't want my kids to get dirty because then I have to destain their clothes because I don't want them wearing stained up clothes that I spent money on. Why is it so tiring to be with them all day and why do I keep wanting to get away? Why am I still complaining when it is 5:15 pm and I should be downstairs making some Mac and Cheese or something for dinner...I guess that's enough venting for now...just so you know, I do love my family and they really are awesome...
I'm bugged. I feel like I'm in a rut and...actually, don't really want to figure out how to get out...that would take more work. I love my sweet Joel and love my kids (which is why I had to post cute pictures of them), but why is life so not like on tv. Why are things so hard and why do things not work out the way I planned them to. I always wanted to be a mom. Ask anyone I went to high school with, that was my dream. I was going to be an awesome wife who made cookies and took them to my husband's work and I would make great meals and I was going to have 9 boys. We would have our own football team in which I would be the 
center because I figured after 9 kids I would be huge. So, let me tell you how that pans out...I'm not an awesome wife and I rarely make cookies and when I do, we eat them (mainly me). Uh, I don't make dinner hardly...we do eat dinner, just things like Mac and Cheese, Pasta Roni, pizza, chicken (the breaded frozen kind that I only have to heat up) and our veggies consist of either corn or broccoli. Awesome huh. Are you all salivating? Let's see 9 boys...not going to happen. I had no idea what a pain it was to be pregnant and then have to get a huge baby out of my body and then recover from that and then raise 
it...yeah, there will never be 9...we may not even make it to 3. In my dream world, which I thought was reality, it was awesome to be pregnant and kids were so fun and obedient and I had tons of energy. Seriously what happened? Why when I ask my kids to come get ready for bed, do they flip out? Why does one take toys from the other? How do 4, 3, and even 2 year olds know how to talk back and why do they actually do it? Why is potty training such a nightmare...is this really that hard of a concept...when you pee you just do it in the toilet and not in your pants. Why do people keep telling me it doesn't get better, just new and different problems with each stage...awesome. Why do toddlers get into everything even after you tell them a million times to get out...why is the dishwasher so cool and the toilet water and the remote and the phone and electrical outlets...I admit, I am totally anal. I make things harder for myself because I want things a certain way...I want a clean and tidy house and I don't want my kids to get dirty because then I have to destain their clothes because I don't want them wearing stained up clothes that I spent money on. Why is it so tiring to be with them all day and why do I keep wanting to get away? Why am I still complaining when it is 5:15 pm and I should be downstairs making some Mac and Cheese or something for dinner...I guess that's enough venting for now...just so you know, I do love my family and they really are awesome...
11 comments:
Hey Kadi,
I can totally relate....I do have a good story I will share with you tonight at Applebee's! Hope to see you there.
Marci
kadi, i totally hear ya! why indeed, to all of those questions! i too am anxious to get away. we are going on a cruise without the kids in november, and i am seriously counting down the days. it will be a MUCH needed break. i'm already to the point where i need a break, and i still have packing, moving, traveling, unpacking, nate starting school, getting to know a new city, etc etc. it really is going to be well over-due by the time it rolls around! way to vent though... hope you feel a little better! love ya!
Wow! you I'm not the only one out there! yep it is hard, hopefully it will be worth every minute at the end, right? I must say there isn't ever enough time, it's 2 am and i'm writing this...cause it's my only "me" time sometimes! I'm so glad we are in the same ward...
Kadi, we only got to hang out for a couple years way back in school, but ever since then I still consider you one of my favorite friends in the world! You are so amazing at making everybody feel happy. I wish we lived closer and I would bring your kids to my apartment where they can make all the mess they want (my apt. is pretty ghetto =). Then, you can take a break. I'm sorry you're down, but I love ya!
three words that have already been banned from our home: "what's for dinner?" thank heavens for boxed dinners and frozen foods. i don't even have kids yet and they are our saving grace when 6 PM rolls around. :) *hugs*
i am so glad to hear that you are normal!
I think I can help. Buy clothes from DI and then you don't have to de-stain them, just throw them away. Oh, but wait, that isn't you either. Oh well. I will try to think of another solution for you. Oh, but wait, if I had a solution I wouldn't feel the same as you. Maybe I need to email you my list of easy and good recipes!! They really are easy! We love you guys and miss you.
I think there's always a let down after fun family trips and then the reality of being a mom all alone again is daunting! I too once thought I'd have 12 kids and it would be AWESOME! Well we're just taking it one day at a time and finding joy in the daily journey and I'm learning to RELAX a lot more! Call me anytime and hang in there and even if it doesn't get better there are those moments of pure bliss where they say, "you're my best friend in the whole world mom" followed by a big slobbery kiss . . .then it makes much more sense I think! Love you
"Just do it in the toilet and not in your pants..." I'll try that with Rex next week.
Where is your phone number!!! I'm going insane. I'm here in Puyallup and have been planning to spend the afternoon with you, but my car is still in the shop and it's after 3 pm. I'm ticked, I'm irritated, and I can't seem to find your number where I thought I put it in my purse.
So the lame thing is that I leave fpr Utah early tomorrow morning. If I could just move in next door to you, that would be ideal.
And my darling old friend, you are NOR-MAL. If we knew what it was going to be like, do you think any of us would have had children? You're beautiful, you have kissable children, and you MAKE dinner that includes vegetables more than two nights a week. Amazing. That alone deserved dozens of flowers and a spot on Oprah. The best part? You're not afraid to be honest when you have a bad day. It's women like you who make the rest of us feel better because we remember that we're not alone. Neither are you. Call me. 801 866-8393
annie
Oh, I want to hug you! Thanks for your candor and honesty. And, for making me glad I have two girls. ;) J/K There are a lot of biological reasons that I can't have any more kids, but secretly, I think I'm glad for them b/c the thought of potty training another child would seriously challenge my desire for #3 (or #4, or #5).
Just last week I said, "I am SO not the mom I was planning on being when I was in high school!" As I've encountered the "joys of motherhood," I've also said, "THIS WAS NOT IN THE YW MANUAL!" I have a hard time, sometimes, straight faced giving those "marry-a-RM-in-the-temple-and-life-will-be-the-best" lessons. I mean, it IS a good way to go, and I probably wouldn't have believed any of my leaders if they'd told me the truth, anyway! :)
I am SO going to miss you. But that's a different post entirely.
Kadi -
So I finally look at your blog and its so cute! Let me just say that I just had a simlilar day and all I can say is call upon the Lord because we are doing this for Him. There is so much to learn in parenthood. Relax and let yourself be the mother you are and not the mother you dreamed about being when you had no idea what a mother was actually like.
Love,
Cami
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